This is beautiful, especially since I've struggled to make new friends myself, having lost contact with older ones after high-school. It's good to know there's still some kind of hope.
What a wonderful evening! I’ve been searching for groups like the one you described on Meetup. Where does one find them these days?
My book (or one of them) is Eat Pray Love. I was contemplating divorce, on a beach retreat. I walked into a bookstore and was taken in by the stark white cover with a splash of cover in the center and the title.
I love food. At the time I was deep in my spiritual journey. And I’m a hopeless romantic.
The book echoed everything I was feeling. My husband didn’t cheat. We had money problems but nothing we couldn’t work through. We were healthy. We didn’t have children. There was no “real reason” for me to end the marriage, yet I had to get out.
Up to that point, I’d done all the “right” things, and I still wasn’t happy. The book gave me permission to find my own way.
This sounds so delightful to my soul 🤍 I am always yearning for deeper connection and conversation - and in this season I’m making it known. Which brings me to your question. “The transformation of silence into language and action” by Audre Lorde is finding me again in this season and it’s at such a time where my voice can no longer keep my truth at bay.
I just reread the essay and this part stuck out to me “ tell them about how you’re never really a whole person if you remain silent, because there’s always that one little piece inside of you that wants to be spoken out, and if you keep ignoring it, it gets matter and matter and hotter and hotter, and if you don’t speak it out one day, it will just up and punch you in the mouth from the inside.” I’ve been mediating a lot on the silences I’ve been holding in. I hope deeper connections finds you in a pleasant place 🙏🏾
I’m inspired by how eagerly you embrace being the change you want to see! I studied art history and was obsessed with the idea of Gertrude Stein’s salons. I’ve been creating my own digital version via Discord for the Black women writers in my life, who are spread across different states and countries. But all I can think about is how to get us all in the same room one day, because that piece is truly so crucial. Thanks for encouraging me to find more ways to channel this desire 💫
Like Esther Perel says “a thousand Facebook friends but no one who will feed my cat.” I’m inspired by your Salon idea/initiative. I’m curious about curating those spaces in my own life, seems important but also quite daunting. Would you be willing to share the other 30 questions? Love the idea of a stimulating (but low pressure) jumping off point
What a fantastic idea! I love that you created such an intentional experience, and I bet the meaningfulness of this gathering will linger with your guests for a long time to come. Little compares to those moments when you're so engaged, it seems like minutes have passed but it's been hours! Thank you for sharing this inspiring event with us.
I like this description. I feel like I seek "intellectual highs" in online spaces like Substack, because I find them hard(er) to find them in real life for all the reasons you mention.
Sorry I’m Late, I didn’t want to come by Jessica Pan
She takes you on her year long journey of actively making an effort to make new friends and deeper connections as someone in their 30s. It’s charming, heartwarming, and relatable.
What is one book, movie, TV show, etc. that found you exactly at the right moment in your life?
This Substack article right here. I’ve recently reconnected with an old friend after 5 years. We haven’t talked or kept in touch on social media during that time so I was nervous. It felt like no time had passed and we had super candid and vulnerable conversations. Maybe because it felt like there was nothing to lose and it wasn’t just reciting our Instagram highlight reels (I’ve been off ig for a year). Like your salon, I came ready with questions which is something I do often to combat my own anxiety.
I only asked the first one: What is a highlight you had in 2021? (We literally haven’t interacted since then)
After that, the conversation, truths, and laughter encompassed the restaurant we were in. It felt freeing and fun.
Loved reading this. I’m planning gatherings for 2025 and I have a few questions for you about the format you used. How many people came? Did you read the questions and lest people and we around the table? How did you incorporate the pauses for people to have their own conversations? Thanks!
This is beautiful, especially since I've struggled to make new friends myself, having lost contact with older ones after high-school. It's good to know there's still some kind of hope.
Hoping for a basket of pleasant surprises for you as you navigate this season of your life 🙏🏾
God bless you ❤️🩹
What a wonderful evening! I’ve been searching for groups like the one you described on Meetup. Where does one find them these days?
My book (or one of them) is Eat Pray Love. I was contemplating divorce, on a beach retreat. I walked into a bookstore and was taken in by the stark white cover with a splash of cover in the center and the title.
I love food. At the time I was deep in my spiritual journey. And I’m a hopeless romantic.
The book echoed everything I was feeling. My husband didn’t cheat. We had money problems but nothing we couldn’t work through. We were healthy. We didn’t have children. There was no “real reason” for me to end the marriage, yet I had to get out.
Up to that point, I’d done all the “right” things, and I still wasn’t happy. The book gave me permission to find my own way.
i found your substack on a thread on threads and i’m so glad i did. i love your writing — thank you ✨
This sounds so delightful to my soul 🤍 I am always yearning for deeper connection and conversation - and in this season I’m making it known. Which brings me to your question. “The transformation of silence into language and action” by Audre Lorde is finding me again in this season and it’s at such a time where my voice can no longer keep my truth at bay.
I just reread the essay and this part stuck out to me “ tell them about how you’re never really a whole person if you remain silent, because there’s always that one little piece inside of you that wants to be spoken out, and if you keep ignoring it, it gets matter and matter and hotter and hotter, and if you don’t speak it out one day, it will just up and punch you in the mouth from the inside.” I’ve been mediating a lot on the silences I’ve been holding in. I hope deeper connections finds you in a pleasant place 🙏🏾
Thank you so much and thanks for sharing this. I’m being led to this piece one more and I’m not mad ☺️
I really enjoyed this read and it’s gives me an itch do have a similar dinner party 👏🏾 love this
I’m inspired by how eagerly you embrace being the change you want to see! I studied art history and was obsessed with the idea of Gertrude Stein’s salons. I’ve been creating my own digital version via Discord for the Black women writers in my life, who are spread across different states and countries. But all I can think about is how to get us all in the same room one day, because that piece is truly so crucial. Thanks for encouraging me to find more ways to channel this desire 💫
Like Esther Perel says “a thousand Facebook friends but no one who will feed my cat.” I’m inspired by your Salon idea/initiative. I’m curious about curating those spaces in my own life, seems important but also quite daunting. Would you be willing to share the other 30 questions? Love the idea of a stimulating (but low pressure) jumping off point
Great idea with your hangout and no phones. We have lost the art of communication, and we need to bring more face-to-face interactions again.
What a fantastic idea! I love that you created such an intentional experience, and I bet the meaningfulness of this gathering will linger with your guests for a long time to come. Little compares to those moments when you're so engaged, it seems like minutes have passed but it's been hours! Thank you for sharing this inspiring event with us.
it's truly my pleasure!
"What can I call this? An intellectual high?"
I like this description. I feel like I seek "intellectual highs" in online spaces like Substack, because I find them hard(er) to find them in real life for all the reasons you mention.
Exactly! it makes me even more determined to make communities like this even more accessible
To seriously answer your question:
Sorry I’m Late, I didn’t want to come by Jessica Pan
She takes you on her year long journey of actively making an effort to make new friends and deeper connections as someone in their 30s. It’s charming, heartwarming, and relatable.
What is one book, movie, TV show, etc. that found you exactly at the right moment in your life?
This Substack article right here. I’ve recently reconnected with an old friend after 5 years. We haven’t talked or kept in touch on social media during that time so I was nervous. It felt like no time had passed and we had super candid and vulnerable conversations. Maybe because it felt like there was nothing to lose and it wasn’t just reciting our Instagram highlight reels (I’ve been off ig for a year). Like your salon, I came ready with questions which is something I do often to combat my own anxiety.
I only asked the first one: What is a highlight you had in 2021? (We literally haven’t interacted since then)
After that, the conversation, truths, and laughter encompassed the restaurant we were in. It felt freeing and fun.
Loved reading this. I’m planning gatherings for 2025 and I have a few questions for you about the format you used. How many people came? Did you read the questions and lest people and we around the table? How did you incorporate the pauses for people to have their own conversations? Thanks!